The life of a Yo-Yo

Yes, that’s what I feel like… a Yo-Yo!

I never know from day to day – even from moment to moment what my life holds. One minute I’m happily engaging myself in the little things of life, and the next, I’m thrown downward.

I had a nice first half of the day yesterday…  Checked my email, drank my tea, got dressed, took out my Miata and put the top down, picked up a friend and had a nice hour of coffee and chatting. I came home, got a little sun (vit D), enjoyed some time with my daughter, and worked on my latest painting “Tropical Enchantment”.

Then, without warning – my throat suddenly felt scratchy. The Yo-Yo was being dropped… and quickly I went from a state of decent functioning, to sore throat, slighly feverish and aches all over my body. This is my typical sign of a M.E./CFS flare. Sometimes it last a short time, and sometimes it’s like that old Yo-Yo trick of “walking the dog”… I stay down for so long I wonder if I can get back up!

So it is with this illness. Thus, my life is filled with unknowns and I could easily freak out.

I want to share a song with you on this YouTube video below. Kathy Troccoli’s music has been a great encouragement to me for many years. I used to use one of her songs in a conference session I taught on dealing with difficult marriages. Now, I have 2 newer CD’s that minister to my heart as I struggle to grasp hold of this “Yo-Yo” life.

If it wasn’t for this truth – I don’t think I could go on… bouncing up and down unpredictably!

So here she is live, performing one song that has carried me through:

Words:

Life can be so good
Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are
Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can’t see
That whatever comes my way
You’ll be with me

My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I’m never without love
Not when my future is with you

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands

Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally
So I will find my way, yes
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you’ll meet my every need

My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I’m never without love
Not when my future is with you

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands

When I’m at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your hands

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
I trust you Lord
My life is in your hands

No matter whether I’m up or down, I’m trying to really embrace this life – even as memories of my “healthy” self tug at my heart. The reality is, it really doesn’t matter how “healthy” I was or what I used to do or be… NOW is where I live! NOW is what I must make count! Memories are fine to enjoy, but not to chase after. Instead, I’m chasing after the best “me” no matter the circumstances.

Because… my life is in His hands!